I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Damn victory sex feels great
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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