So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't think brook has ever known best
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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