Sponge bath it is.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
