ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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