I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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