haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
