I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
