Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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