I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
