I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
