Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
