I bet he comes in French.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
