idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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