worst night to have a conscience
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
