just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
