just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
