yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize