so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
