he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
