You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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