pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize