i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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