just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
