he wants to bone in the snuggie
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
