Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
