READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
