One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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