i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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