ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
