I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
