oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
