im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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