I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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