I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize