what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
