Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
