I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
