I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize