you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
