dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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