we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
