Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
