had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
