I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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