I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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