You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Mom said you looked used
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
