Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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