So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's always time for handjobs
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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