**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My first STD was from a foam party
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
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