Can i not drive my cunt home
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
