He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
