i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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