I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
