hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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