Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
