you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
