Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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