Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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