nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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