my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
soo... how was my night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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