Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
