Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
